Boudoir Shoot Nerves

How to ease anxiety for a Boudoir Photo Shoot

I’ll let you in on a little secret, and that is all women have boudoir shoot nerves! It would be weird if you didn’t because how often do you put yourself in front of a camera wearing nothing but lingerie?

The first 10 minutes is nerve wracking and you WILL feel a little awkward initially – our main goal for this 10 minutes is to warm up and not necessarily get the most jaw dropping images straight away. I’ll start with some modest and comfortable poses so you can warm up, and I can work out what angles suit your body best – because no boudoir shoot is a “one size fits all” template. I tailor the shoot you using my pre shoot questionnaire.

I pose you from head to toe and show you EVERY SINGLE POSE first. After 10 minutes of warm up poses the nerves will dissipate and you’ll experience how easy, fun and extremely empowering these sessions can be. If you’re still feeling super anxious, below are some ways to calm those boudoir shoot nerves:

Look through the photographers portfolio and save the images you feel are in your comfort zone
Remember that we work to your comfort level. Once I see you are comfortable, I will ask if you want to push things a little further
Know that you will not have to come up with any poses. I will demonstrate everything for you first
Remember I am a posing expert. So if you have insecurities about any lumps/bumps etc hat we ALL have, just remember I have tips and tricks to emphasise only your favourite areas.
Fill out the pre shoot questionnaire which I will send before your session. You will have the opportunity to voice any of your concerns and let me know your desired outcome for the shoot.

Parfait Lingerie website have a great blog article on 5 ways to ease your nerves before a boudoir photo shoot, if you’re interested!

How can I be confident you ask? This Q&A between myself and one of my treasured repeat clients Xana will give you a great rundown of what doing a boudoir shoot is actually like and hopefully answer some of your questions. To view my main FAQs page, you can CLICK HERE.

Interview with Xana

Are photos always posted on social media?

Xana: My photos were taken as part of a model call, which means that Mel can use my photos for marketing and social media purposes.

Mel: Around 70% of my clients opt to keep their images private. You do have a choice! Because of this, I run model calls from time to time, for a discounted rate, in exchange for the client allowing me to use photos for marketing and social media. If you are paying for a full priced session, I will keep your images completely private if that’s what you choose to do.

Did you have Hair and Makeup on Site?

Xana: Yes, hair and makeup was provided onsite.

Mel: I have a professional hair and makeup artist attend my home studio, and glam up my beautiful clients. If you do have a preferred stylist, you are able to organise this yourself and have your hair and makeup done with them before you arrive to the shoot.

Did you do anything to prepare for the shoot?

Xana: For my first shoot, I pulled a sickie at work haha! So there was no prep, just a bag of my outfits and excitement. My second shoot, I treated myself to a mani pedi the day before and got a coffee the morning of.

Mel: All clients will receive a copy of my boudoir photo shoot prep guide

What did you do with your photos, did you display them in your home, print them, or keep them private?

Xana: I had my photos turned into a photo album with an USB to be able to print and display if I chose. I haven’t displayed my photos yet but I do look at my album and show family and friends (and my partner at the time).

Did you have boudoir shoot nerves or anxiety before your shoot? Any advice to overcome this?

Xana: My first shoot, yes! But I was also really excited because I booked it all on a whim and it was all spontaneous. I took lots of deep breaths and reminded myself why I was doing this. Talking to my mum beforehand helped, she grounds me a lot. But when I got to the session, Mel and the hair and make up artist made me feel so at ease, like I was going to a girlfriends place to hang out – the nerves disappeared. The second shoot, I was super excited to do it all again and experience the same feelings of excitement and empowerment.

How did you decide what to wear?

Xana: I chose outfits/sets that made me feel comfortable, safe and suited my personality. I chose my ‘old faithful’ (you know the set you always wear because it’s comfy and goes with everything). I had a really nice lingerie set I wanted to take for a spin and a corset I wanted to play with. I’d recommend wearing something that speaks to you, if you’re more t-shirts and boy legs, embrace it! Or if you want to shoot in the nude, go for it!

Mel: I have a what to wear guide which gives you so many tips and tricks to decide on the best lingerie for your body type and comfort level.

How many outfits did you bring?

Xana: My first shoot, I had three outfits + heels. My second shoot, I had two outfits + heels as well.

How did you feel after seeing your photos? Did you feel more confident in your body?

Xana: It was so surreal to see myself in those photos. Have you ever had someone say “If only you could see what I could see.” Or “When you smile/concentrate/make your O face, you do this thing” ? Well, looking at my photos, those statements made sense!! And it felt so freaking amazing. It was a really changed my perspective of myself and really helped me to embrace my womanhood, my quirks, my body. I felt so invincible and felt like shouting “I am woman, hear my roar!”

I have no idea how to pose or look sexy at all. How do you learn to do this?

Xana: Mel is a posing goddess and she tells you how to pose. IF you see poses you’d like to try, tell her and she’ll help you. I remember in one shot, Mel was telling me “Now, close your eyes and run your hands up and down your body like you’re thinking of Channing Tatum.” Made me laugh so much but it worked! Mel will also only focus on the parts of your body you like and pose those in a flattering manner. For example, if you don’t like a certain body part, she won’t make that the focus.

Did you bring your own outfits or are the outfits supplied?

Xana: You can clarify with Mel if outfits are supplied. I brought my own outfits though.

Mel: I don’t supply outfits for fitting and hygiene purposes (more so now than ever, with covid!). I think it’s important that your lingerie fits you perfectly and is something special you have picked out – and will hopefully wear again!!

Can I bring a friend to my shoot?

Xana: You can clarify with Mel, if that’s possible. Sometimes, bringing other people with you can take away from fully embracing yourself. A boudoir photo shoot is quite a person and unique experience. Depending on the time of your shoot, I would pick a friend to have a coffee or lunch with beforehand and then maybe meet with them after. With a photographer like Mel, you’ll feel like you’re doing this with a friend anyway.

Mel: Xana is right, it does take away from the experience. Bringing a friend along can be more than a distraction that anything, to you and also me. I allowed this once, it was a huge mistake. So I do not allow anyone to come to your boudoir shoot.

My experience and recommendation

Xana: Ask yourself, why you want to do this shoot, what’s the purpose for it and let that be your driving force. Is it a gift for your partner? Is it to show yourself some love or self care? Is it because everyone else is doing it? Maybe it’s to mark a milestone. Both shoots were for me to challenge and explore who I am. The second shoot was also to empower other women to celebrate who they are now, “warts and all”. Body doesn’t look the way you want yet? Doesn’t matter, this will be the most amazing ‘before’ shoot ever! Don’t see yourself as ‘sexy’? Make it funny and flirty! Remember, you are a crazy beautiful woman inside and out – you are the reason someone smiles, you are someone’s role model and you could be the reason someone else chooses to embrace their femininity too!